WHOA. What a wild ride this year is. Don’t you think?
It’s been forever since I’ve written a blog post. The previous one was actually in the middle of the corona madness when I was still in LA but traveling home to Finland because of the corona bullshit (yes, that’s my opinion on it, let’s end it there).
So, what’s been up? Oh, where the hell should we begin…
OKAY, so, I left LA in April. In tears of course… I’ll always, always remember that feeling when I was walking away from the boy towards the glass doors of LAX airport. Him leaning back on the side of his car, arms crossed, a smile on his face (he spent the entire day trying to just smile and keep me from crying)… I. Could. Not. Look. Back. It was terrible… I couldn’t look back, I couldn’t do anything but head straight towards the toilets to cry for a few minutes. Hell, that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’m crying now just writing about it…
…and while we’re on the topic of crying, that’s exactly what I spent one entire month back in Finland doing. You see, when I got home, not only did I have a boy and a city to miss… I also had no home (I rented an AirBnb apartment), I had to see my ex again (who also had moved on with new gf, new everything), I had to stay quarantined at home for two weeks, and my grandpa died just a few days after I got home (and for you who don’t know, he’s been a big part of my life, and also my last legal guardian and where I lived before I moved “away from home” when I was 18). So, it was a shitty month to say the least. Gosh, I’m proud I survived.
Well, better days were ahead and in May I moved into a cute little apartment that finally felt like a home. I really, really enjoyed living in that little apartment and had a great summer home in Vasa, much thanks to this guy living with me for a month. Buddy, who is my brothers dog, truly worked like a therapy dog for me and I’m so thankful that I got to spend so much time with him this summer. I also got to hung out with friends I’d missed during the summer. Walks, afterworks, dinners, drinks… And a magical midsummer celebration. All and all, the end of May, June and beginning of July were all really amazing months and I’m very grateful for them. AND for the amazing weather we got this summer, wow!
So, what was next? Well, July was supposed to be the month when I’d go back to LA… But that didn’t happen of course. I was yet again restless and felt like I needed to start taking steps towards my future again. So, I went on a spontaneous long-weekend in Stockholm to hang out with my friend Silje and we had the BEST time! It was the most perfect long-weekend in a city during summertime that you could ask for. And well, it was actually so great that I decided to go back to Stockholm just one week later!
I went back to Stockholm with the plan to stay for a month, during which time I’d figure out whether I wanted to move to Stockholm completely, somewhere else, or just go back to Finland. Well, I found an apartment in Stockholms and decided to stay!
So there’s where I’m at right now, living i Stockholm, 10 years later from when I lived here the last time (I lived here for a year 2010-2011). And you know what, it feels good? It feels a bit weird still, but I have a feeling that this is where I’m supposed to be right now, and as I have a very strong intuition I’ve decided to trust that it knows what’s best for me.
What’s next and will I stay in Stockholm forever? Who the hell knows these days, and after a corona summer like this one… I’m just taking it day by day right now. We’ll see what the future holds! One thing’s for sure though, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss California and I truly can’t wait for the day when I go back!!! ♥
Ps, you HAVE to follow me on Instagram if you aren’t already. My newest discovery is reels, I’m obsessed with creating reels of old travel videos. Follow me here.